I've spent a lot of time during the past six months learning the art of Splitology, and I'm happy with my progress. Actually, Splitology could be considered as much science as it is art which makes it all the more interesting. The neat thing is that you don't need expensive, complicated equipment. Just a few simple hand tools will do, and I find that the process (it's too much fun to call it work) is relaxing and the end product is certainly valuable. And I needed relaxing.
I am definitely showing the symptoms of political and cultural burnout. On both the local and national scene I've lost track of who is against/for what and why. I do know that history on several fronts is being rewritten, and one of those fronts is the Civil War. It saddens me to see statues of Robert E Lee...arguably one of the most noble and principled men that this country has ever produced being taken down.
I don't understand why supposedly thousands of teachers and hospital workers are quitting their jobs, or why the 'supply chain' is busted, or why inflation is rising or why businesses are closing or scaling back because they don't have workers. I don't understand why Covid and the past Presidential election are still contentious issues, when the evidence and facts are so clear. About the only thing I'm sure of is that both political parties agree that America is broken. To fix it the Democrats are pushing their Build Back Better bill, while the Republicans wave their Make America Great Again banner. The base assumption is that before the country was broken, it was solidly united. Which is wrong. We have never been solidly united on anything, going back to the founding of the country.
When it was decided to declare independence from England, historians estimate that between 40 and 45 percent of the white population in the Thirteen Colonies supported the Patriots' cause for independence; between 15 and 20 percent supported the Loyalists, and the remaining 35 to 45 percent were neutral or kept a low profile. The great majority of the Loyalists remained in America, while the minority went to Canada, Britain, Florida, or the West Indies. Less than half of the population were openly in favor of independence.
No war since the revolution, no social issue, no election has ever had an overwhelming majority of supporters or detractors. Given that constant division, what has made America great is the Constitution, democratic rule and the willingness to compromise. Too many people have either forgotten or are ignoring those principals. Political and celebrity ambition takes precedence over the good of the country. Reason takes a back seat to deceit and fabrication. Anyone who is not a player in these intrigues has got to feel bewildered and beleaguered. Splitology can help to deal with the anxiety.
Splitology is the art/science of splitting a log. Mechanical log splitters are available, but they're expensive, need to be stored, and remove all the fun/creativity from the activity. The usual manual method involves swinging a hefty splitting axe. It works well if you're a younger man and your back can stand it. I've come up with a method that is safer, is less strenuous, requires creativity and is just plain fun.
To do it my way all that is needed is a log, two or three railroad spikes, and a 16oz hammer. I get the logs from trees in my yard. Railroad spikes are easy to find. Just drive to some small town with a railroad track - most towns in my neck of the woods have railroad tracks and a 'historic railroad depot museum'. Walk the tracks for a little way and you will find more spikes laying loose than you can carry. All you have to do is drive the spike into the log until it splits. If you have a stubborn log you may need two or three spikes at different locations in the log to split it. Rather than kneeling to drive the spikes I use a stool. It is the right height and much easier on my back.
Not all logs are the same. This log has aged a bit, cracked, and clearly shows you where to place the spike. It will split cleanly into four pieces and more if desired. Others are more dense; show no sign of cracking, and require many hard blows just to get the spike started. I have even had occasions where a spike has 'jumped out' after minimum penetration. I hold the spike in my hand while hammering and can almost feel the log pushing it out - rejecting it. But stay with it and sooner or later a tiny crack will appear, and then it's game over.
If you have a lot of logs and become bored, make a game of it. What I do is imagine that the head of the spike is the head of one of my least favorite people. You would not believe how many times I have bonked the head of Nancy Pelosi, AOC, Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer, Elisabeth Warren, Senator Jon Ossoff, the governors of Tennessee, Georgia and Florida, and my favorite hammer blow recipient, Donald Trump. I've not bonked Marjorie Green because it's obvious that she's already had too many blows to the head.
Splitology won't cure the ills of the country or make them any more understandable but it sure makes me feel better. And I've got a wood shed full of cooking fuel. Can't beat that.
