Friday, December 4, 2020

Thoughts while going Nowhere on a Stationary Bike

One of my favorite morning experiences is the stationary bike. Not riding it, but getting off when I've got my five miles in. Riding a stationary bike can be really boring. The time goes much faster if I can let my mind wander. If I just stare at the computer read-out it takes forever for the numbers to progress. Usually I have background music. Not the jazzercise stuff most people listen to. I like relaxing music, like light jazz by Bony James  or most anything by Yanni. 

I don't like Christmas music so almost always listen to a CD. I forgot that this morning so was forced to listen to whatever 'Sunny 92.3' was playing, which off course was Christmas music. A couple of selections did get me to thinking. For example, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It had its origin in 1939 as a promotional book by the Montgomery Ward Company. Think about the story line. 

A reindeer named Rudy had a shiny nose. Because he was different, all the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. And they wouldn't let him play in reindeer games. That's bullying. That kind of behavior is totally unacceptable today, and probably was not approved of in 1939. And don't tell me that Santa and Mrs. Claus didn't know about it. I mean, Santa is there 364 days each year. He don't go nowhere. Have you ever seen him at an IHOP or any restaurant? On a beach? In a movie theater? Anywhere? No, and not Mrs. Claus either. Both of them knew full well how Rudy was being treated and they ignored it. They were complicit. By the way, being that they never leave the house, where are all the little Clauses'? Do they have a platonic relationship, or is there some factor prohibiting them from being parents? Who is there to take over the business when Santa checks out? 

Anyway, there came a Christmas eve when Santa was fogged in. He's got no headlights on the sleigh and apparently no other source of illumination, so he has the gall to ask Rudy to guide his sleigh. And upon hearing this, all of the other reindeer starting sucking up to Rudy, thinking that he might become a favorite of Santa. If I was Rudy I would have told Dancer and Prancer and the rest to ****off! Then I would have turned to Santa and said, "Now look here Claus...let's talk about this." I would have demanded better food than the other reindeer got, and my own indoor heated room, and the services of an elf as my personal groomer.  

Essentially Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a song about discrimination and probably slavery. I would not be surprised if the liberals in the Biden administration try to ban it.

There's another Christmas song that got my attention; Do You Hear What I Hear? This one is a newcomer, going back to only 1962. Here's the setting. A group of friends have gathered at someone's house one cold December evening. They're just sitting around being social, drinking Christmas type drinks and doing the chips and dip thing when one of the men walks to a window to see how deep the snow is. Suddenly he shouts out, "A child is shivering in the cold! Quick! Somebody bring him silver and gold!" 

To my knowledge silver and gold have no warming properties. I don't know what the guy was thinking. It seems to me that child clothing (if available), blankets and a hot toddy would be more suitable. Better yet, how about bring the kid in the house! 

To be fair, many if not most songs, not just Christmas carols have nonsense lyrics, probably just to make the words rhyme, whether or not they make sense. I guess that's why I prefer instrumental music. The notes don't have to rhyme.  

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