Trump's a goner...no way does he survive the latest bombshell coming out of testimony from the January 6th committee. That he's been exposed contemplating and committing unethical and probably illegal behavior is old news...stuff that the faithful aren't even phased by, but the latest revelation that he threw his lunch at a wall is something that even the most rabid MAGA follower has got to be shocked and sickened by. Never in modern history has a leader (former) ever done such a despicable deed. And he got ketchup on the wall to boot! Every American should feel embarrassed and ashamed. Now, Trump might claim that there is precedent for such an act and technically he'd be right.
A cave painting some 17,000 years old discovered in France's famed Lascaux Caves depicts a native chieftain identified as Nagook throwing a plate of food at the cave wall. Some experts say that the recently deciphered neolithic symbols beneath the painting read - "What?!...mammoth for lunch again?!!" Others claim the symbols say - "I did not lose!!" If the later interpretation is correct, Nagook was probably referring to the neolithic custom of electing a new chief every 24 moons, which had just taken place and which in a close election Nagook had reportedly lost, though the point is moot as Nagook had told the tribe's war chief to kill the other candidates if the vote was close.
There is some good that resulted from Nagook's food-throwing temper tantrum. Nagook's servants, being tired of constantly picking up broken pottery plates off the floor spoke with the village handyman, Amaark about the problem. Amaark had just recently found some larger yellow rocks in the river; discovered that the rocks were soft and hammered one of them into a fairly large flat piece. Nagook's servants were pleased with the new unbreakable plates, and thus the craft of metallurgy was born. Nagook liked the shiny yellow color.
The tribe formed a committee to investigate the murders of the election candidates but soon gave up because potential witnesses either ignored subpoenas or refused to talk about the food fights in the White Cave (as they called it). Thus Nagook remained semi-officially in office to his death at which time his son took over. History has no record of Nagook's descendants, though some say their spirit is alive and well in a location in Florida.
I am not a fan of Nagook...whoops, I mean Trump, but fair is fair and if the January 6th committee can't come of with something more than they've shown so far, they can forget about the DOJ or any other agency investigating let alone prosecuting Trump. The guy is clearly illusional if not delusional but that's not a crime. Neither is throwing lunch at a wall. Still, he is a real threat to democracy. One solution might be for Trump to emulate the 5,000 confederate soldiers and officers who fled to Mexico rather than swear an oath of allegiance to the United States after the civil war. He and his MAGA followers could form their own colony. The ex-confederates named their colony Carlota (it failed and most returned to the U.S. within two years). Trump already has a name for his...Mar-a-Lago South. It has a nice ring to it.
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