Age Does Not Imply Wisdom

I wrote a memoir. I worked on it off and on for years, deleting, adding, rewriting, sometimes putting it in a drawer for months after pronouncing it crap, then retrieving it, deciding it wasn't so bad and continuing on. It took about eight years to finish it. Well, I don't know if anyone ever finishes a memoir. I think you reach a point where you've removed or at least understated all the bad stuff you did that you'd rather not dwell on, embellished the good stuff, mixed in a few little white lies and finally write THE END. A few years later after moving back to the States I added a really short final chapter briefly talking about the how, why and when of our relocation from Peru to Georgia. I wanted the memoir to finish in the location where I assume I am going to finish.

I was working on the memoir when I reached my 75th birthday. These days being 75 is nothing remarkable. There are lots of 80 and 85 year-olds running around. But still, 75 is a big number and the thought occurred to me that maybe I should add a final chapter to the memoir titled "What I Have Learned." Now, I'm not talking about things I've learned like 1+1 =2. I'm talking about life...what it means and how to live it. I started with a blank sheet, intending to bullet-point the things I've learned and fleshing them out later. That sheet stayed blank for a long time. Try it sometime. Try listing what you think you've learned/know about life. I never did add that chapter.

There were some among the early philosophers who said that we could not know anything, knowledge was unattainable...that we could not even know for certain that we exist. This contention is what prompted Rene Descartes to postulate, "I think, therefore I am." Had I been there, just to play devil's advocate I would have replied, "Rene, it may be that you only think that you think, therefore it's possible you may exist, but maybe not."

During the theatrical period of my life I remember being on a stage and delivering the line, "Wisdom doesn't come with age, wisdom comes with wisdom. I'm 65 years old and I don't know shit!" I think that line pretty much sums up what I know about life. I don't like to generalize, but I believe there are a whole lot of people who don't know what they think they know, going through life guided by beliefs, values and principles, but not knowledge. If someone today were to ask me what I know about life I would probably respond that I don't know anything. Nothing. If I were asked what I have come to believe about life, I could answer because in the absence of knowledge all we have is beliefs. Some of my beliefs would be unpopular with others, but they are my beliefs and they helped to form my values and they work for me. 

I think that any discussion about life and living probably has to begin with how and why we got here. I don't know how we got here. I believe it was through some type of chemical process. I don't give credence to the question of why we are here, because the question implies purpose. I don't believe in creation or a creator so don't believe there is a collective meaning or purpose to our existence. I believe that every person, if they choose to, can assign their own personal meaning and purpose to their individual lives. The same goes for success and failure

I believe that every person has the right to adopt their own personal beliefs and values. It is my opinion that most of the conflict between people and nations is the result of people or nations attempting to impose their beliefs and values on others. If the beliefs and values of others were respected, so long as they don't impose on others, this would be a different world. 

In that same vein, I believe it is a good idea, for the purpose of mental well being to avoid those people who regularly offer unsolicited advice, usually in the form of what you should or shouldn't do. They too are trying to force their beliefs and values on you. And they are people who are generally just plain obnoxious. 

Also in the interest of preserving peace of mind, I believe it is wise to avoid people who have what I call 'camp director' personalities. Their nature is to take charge in any and all situations. Those whose nature is not to be taken charge of must exercise 'heightened situational awareness' to avoid potential unpleasant conflict when in the presence of such personalities. And they are people who are generally just plain obnoxious.

I believe that most people are honest and 'good' (whatever that means), but there are far too many dishonest people to justify automatic trust in anyone not known.

I believe that the Golden Rule is a pretty good guide to keep in mind.

I believe that the "absolutes" so often referred to regarding human conduct are merely unwritten rules of society that spell out the should's and shouldn'ts of activity as we go through life. These absolutes change over time and in different cultures. Many people believe that absolutes, in the context I am using the word, exist independent of humans and are natural or are dictates from a god, such as the ten commandments.

I believe that as a species we've made great strides in technology, but in general in terms of our behavior and intelligence we're not far from the caves. That's not condemnation; just observation.

I've got lots of other beliefs but I think I've listed the most substantive, at least to me. No need in rambling on, but there is one final belief I'd like to write about. I've talked about my view that the individual determines what for them is life's meaning, purpose, success and failure, but there is one thing that we all seem to have in common, and that is to be happy.

As you might suppose I believe that the individual determines what makes them happy. If there is a general rule to achieving happiness, to me it would be that the little things and the memories of those little things constitute happiness. I've had my moments of fame, glory and triumph (they made it into my memoir). A couple of times I've been so deep in the pit that I couldn't see a way out (didn't make the memoir). But now, months away from 80, it's not the triumphs or tragedies that I think about or remember. It's a walk in the woods, visiting a small town, finishing a good book, relaxing in the backyard and listening to the birds, having lunch with friends, hours of good discussion, grilling outside over a wood fire, frequenting antique shops, and most of all, anything done with my wife Maribel. Those are the things that upon reflection bring a smile to my face. We're still doing those things...still enjoying the moment and creating new memories that we're putting into the bank to be savored later.

During the course of our lives we're constantly subjected to outside influences...from our parents, relatives, friends, church, organizations, employers and so on. Some of those influences are mandatory. Laws make it possible for us to live collectively in a semi-civilized manner. Other influences may be traditional, cultural, or in the form of absolutes mentioned earlier. It is my belief that the individual who recognizes that most influences are not mandatory, and who seriously examines each one, adopting those that for him/her feel right and discarding those that don't, has the best chance to achieve happiness.